You know that little game series, Call of Duty? Well, I just bought the latest installation, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. It's an amazing game, beautiful graphics, amazing AI, its all you could ask for in a game. These short stories are about some incidents that have occurred during a few of my online matches. They are called, The COD Follies.
- I was playing on Backlot, I crawled through the little hole on the very bottom of that wall by the sheet-metal tower, and right as I look back to see who followed me through, a flash bang goes off about a half an inch from my face, causing my screen to go white for about nine minutes. And what do you do at a time like that? Why, you hold down the trigger and spin of course.
- I was playing on the Bog, and got forced into Last Stand.....inside the storage container. I sat there waiting for an enemy to come by, but I guess they all just sort of pranced away just as I was taking aim. Sweet. Now I get to pull the trigger on my self and feel like a literal piece of crap.
- Me and my team members were trying to “sneak” (stupid mini-map!) up on our opponents. We all peeked over the fence, and took aim. They were having a big gay party at their base, with much grinding and Loverboy, so they weren't aware of the group of close-rangers right next to them. I had this weird guy who kept saying he was going to rape them all, a kid who's headset was all messed up so he sounded like a pixie, and a guy who I honestly didn't believe knew the controls. Sweet. I told Pixie to throw a flash bang so we could just go to town. Pixie threw the flash, it bounced off a wall, directly back at us, and hit me in the face. My team sucked so bad, they were all huddled in one place, right next to me, and also got blinded. So we all start spinning and shooting (each other), and one of the guys looks up from his appletini long enough to realize that my team's freakin retarded. They throw a grenade, which kills the rapist guy, and sends the new guy, apparently just realizing he can stand up, into Last Stand. What none of us knew was that the dead guy was a martyr. Everyone dies and I get thrown into last stand. Some 13 year old kid, comes over and flashbangs me, right before he knifes me in the mouth. Stupid kids.
- Stop hiding in the ground! I hat it when im on a roll, and some stupid hacker 9 year old kills me with a m9 from under the floor. You can't kill em, because they have the coding of the game against their side. The next time you see anyone doing that, play “Lay Lady Lay” at ful blast in the headset until the match ends, while casually telling him its for the ground thing. Trust me, he'll never do it again.
On a final note, I know it's just a game, and I rarely freak out about things like this. However, if anyone ever hides in the floor in a game with me, I'll find where you live, smash your Xbox/ps3(crap)/PC, eat all you peanut butter, and rip your legs off. Be ready for it.
